


can we pretend

by sinisterkids (400lux)



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 22:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3954673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/400lux/pseuds/sinisterkids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing changes when Donghyuk starts dating Hanbin. The dreaded beat of one of Masta Wu's tracks playing from Hanbin’s phone wakes the two of them up at the crack of dawn and Hanbin still manages to steal the bathroom before Donghyuk can even blink his bleary eyes open. </p><p>fake dating!au. (<a href="http://sinisterkids.livejournal.com/18215.html">lj mirror</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	can we pretend

Barely halfway through dinner, the questions seem to hit Donghyuk like bullets at every turn. A twice-removed cousin here, an aunt there, he just can’t escape the interrogation. It’s the one thing he hates about family gatherings, besides the ear-splitting squeals of children, the copious amounts of herbal tea forced upon him and the nostalgic memories of what once was home.

“So,” Donghyuk’s great uncle begins, coughing to get his attention. “Have you got a partner, son?”

It takes a moment for Donghyuk to process the question. He has a lab partner in CHEM 1002. He has a partner when he finds time to play tennis. But surely his great uncle means a partner of the romantic variety, which Donghyuk does not have.

Donghyuk sneaks a glance at his mother, the longing on her face causing him to almost crumble under the pressure of procuring a girlfriend or boyfriend on the spot. Oh great aunt Eunji, give him strength.

He blurts out the first name that comes to mind, after great aunt Eunji of course, because that would be weird. “I’m sort of seeing someone right now. Hanbin, his name’s Kim Hanbin.” He sighs in relief when his mother bursts into a grin, inciting a round of cheers from the table.

“Tell us about this Hanbin.”

Donghyuk would, except he’s not all that close to Hanbin, his roommate and disappearing-act extraordinaire. The dude only ever comes to their shared room to sleep, and not even then sometimes. A complete enigma. Cute too, if his resting bitch face didn’t scare the crap out of Donghyuk half the time. He’s almost semi-glad he doesn’t see much of him.

Semi, because now he’s truly regretting not getting to know his roommate better. Scratch that, boyfriend.

“Well,” Donghyuk starts off shakily, “Hanbin majors in lit and music. He’s very ambitious and a hard-worker, and something of a prodigy as a kid. Has a horrible fashion sense, consisting mostly of scarves, berets and,” he shudders, “tags. He’s very sweet and takes care of me well.” He tacks on the last bit on for good measure, heart beating a million miles per second in his chest.

“He sounds lovely,” Donghyuk’s grandmother speaks up, tipsy on soju, “You should bring him over sometime.”

Donghyuk lets out an empty, awkward laugh. “Sure, I’ll see if he’s free sometime. I’m sure he’d love to meet you all.” [ABORT MISSION]. Kim Hanbin does not want to meet his family, what the fuck, who takes their roommate to meet their distant relatives!!! No one!!!

“That’s settled then,” His mother concludes, eyes twinkling with thoughts of matching couple sweaters and baby albums, “My darling’s in love!”

The only thing Donghyuk’s in love with is the nice, comfy grave he’s going to be lying in when he breaks the good news to Hanbin, or his mother, whomever comes first.

 

-

 

Donghyuk sits on his bed and wrings his fingers as he waits for his roommate to come home. When that technique doesn’t inspire him, he stands up and paces the length of the room. He clears his throat. _First thing’s first_. No, too Igloo Australia. _Can we talk?_ What is he doing, breaking up with him or something? He has to get to the dating part first. _Hey_. Simple, succinct, perfect. _So, I was too cowardly to admit that I haven’t got any grandchildren yet and instead, I told my family you’re my boyfriend. Could you, like, pretend to date me for a while?_

That would go down well. Hanbin would probably use up all the hot water like he takes to doing when he’s annoyed at Donghyuk. Or possibly run away, screaming. Donghyuk doesn’t fancy a new roommate. He likes Hanbin just fine.

Speak of the devil. The door handle turns and Hanbin enters the room, backpack slung over his shoulder and looking worse for wear. He lifts his chin in Donghyuk’s direction in greeting and flops onto the bed, face-planting into the pillow. Donghyuk watches on nervously, torn between taking advantage of Hanbin’s exhausted state and pouncing, or leaving him be. Is ten minutes of hot water worth the sacrifice of this golden opportunity though? Donghyuk thinks not.

“Hanbin-hyung,” Donghyuk calls out softly, hovering over Hanbin’s bed. “I need to ask you a favour.”

Hanbin grunts in response. Further action is required. Donghyuk kneels next to the mattress, hand lingering above the small of Hanbin’s back before he rests it on the quilt.

“So I’m in a bit of a tight spot right now, and I kinda need you to date me to get out of it?”

“What was that again?” Hanbin mumbles.

“I. Need. You. To. Date. Me,” Donghyuk grits out slowly—his hands are sweaty, knees weak, mom’s spaghetti—trying to maintain his determination.

Hanbin lifts his head up, eyeing Donghyuk questioningly. “You want me to date you?” He sits up, leaning back against the wall to face Donghyuk.

“Yeah. Just temporarily,” Donghyuk pleads. The serious contemplation on Hanbin’s face is this close to making Donghyuk die of embarrassment. “My spot on the family tree tapestry depends on it.”

Hanbin’s fingers play with the drawstrings of his sweatpants as he thinks it over. Donghyuk tries not to stare. After a few tense moments, Hanbin finally says, “Ok.”

“Seriously?”

Hanbin shrugs, “Why not?”

A piercing shriek cuts the air, and Donghyuk flies on top of a disgruntled Hanbin, arms wrapped around his waist. “You’re a lifesaver.”

 

-

 

Nothing changes when Donghyuk starts dating Hanbin. The dreaded beat of one of Masta Wu's tracks playing from Hanbin’s phone wakes the two of them up at the crack of dawn and Hanbin still manages to steal the bathroom before Donghyuk can even blink his bleary eyes open. They still go about their daily morning routine in quiet coexistence, Hanbin asking Donghyuk where his favourite snapback is and Donghyuk tossing it to him, Donghyuk tidying up Hanbin’s notes from late last night and leaving it on his desk. It’s almost as if Hanbin doesn’t remember, Donghyuk fears.

“Hyung,” Donghyuk slots his foot between the door and frame, obstructing Hanbin’s exit, “Are you still, y’know, up for what I asked you last night?”

Hanbin pats Donghyuk’s shoulder, smile wide and cheery. Like a big bro reassuring his younger one. Donghyuk’s really gotta stop calling him hyung. “Do you wanna actually go on dates and shit?”

Donghyuk’s eyes widen comically. “Uh.”

“Let me take care of it,” Hanbin says, swinging the door open with his foot.

Donghyuk stares incredulously at the back of Hanbin’s head as he walks off.

 

-

 

To his credit, Donghyuk does start making an attempt to get closer to Hanbin. The first step is to seek intel from certain trusted sources.

“You’re dating _Hanbin_?” Jinhwan repeats, for the millionth time that day, although it’s mostly just in disbelief to himself now. In complete contrast, Bobby hasn’t stopped laughing for ten minutes. His face is red and he’s wheezing. Donghyuk is a little worried.

“I’m being serious guys!” Donghyuk insists with a pout. He should have just told them the truth from the beginning but somehow that was even more humiliating to admit out loud. “Am I not date-worthy material?”

“No, no, you’re a good kid,” Bobby finally says his first coherent words, wiping a tear from his eye, “It’s Hanbin we’re surprised about. Have his lips even touched someone other than his mother and his arm?”

Donghyuk shrugs, shaking off that mental image, “The point is, it’s all on me now, right? I gotta know what he’s into.”

Jinhwan and Bobby share a glance. Bobby coughs under his breath; it sounds oddly like _is he sure he wants to know?_ Donghyuk is just about ready to give up on his operation when Jinhwan finally speaks up.

“I don’t know, he doesn’t like anything too extravagant. Quiet dinner, perhaps?”

Donghyuk nods. He should be taking notes, he thinks, as Bobby adds to the discussion. It’s quite a lot to go on, considering they’re not even really dating.

 

-

 

Donghyuk doesn’t know if it’s a coincidence when he starts seeing more of Hanbin around. He’s with Bobby, walking out of class and laughing about something, or practicing in the dance studio when Donghyuk comes in to mess around with choreo at the end of the day. Hanbin ends up hanging around with Donghyuk, sitting at one end of the room to scrutinise Donghyuk’s moves. Donghyuk eventually finds out what Hanbin’s favourite coffee is—mocha with an extra shot for those long nights—and what he looks like when he cries—those Disney marathons weren’t completely a waste of time.

A perspective change was all Donghyuk needed to understand Hanbin a little better. He just wishes it wasn’t like this, because he’s finding it hard not to absentmindedly pick a piece of lint off Hanbin’s hoodie or stare at the curve of Hanbin’s lips when he talks to him.

The gloaming is swallowing up the Seoul sky by the time Donghyuk gets to the end of his first slab of weekly revision. Various shades of purple stream in through the tinted windows of his secluded spot in the library and the air is slowly chilling to an unbearable frigid. The relapse of warm weather is long gone and yet the university still hasn’t sought to upgrade their heaters so they actually reach the furthest corners of the library. Donghyuk squeezes his hands a few times to get the blood flowing and continues writing, puffing air through his mouth. He’s only got a few sets of equilibrium questions to go anyway.

Hanbin is the last person he expects to be in the library at six on a Friday. But he’s there, clamping both hands around Donghyuk’s shoulders and giving him the fright of his life. Donghyuk jumps, pen falling out of his hand and clamouring against the floor, the sound echoing through the silent library. Hanbin settles down onto the chair next to Donghyuk’s, fighting back a laugh as Donghyuk reaches down to grab the pen, disgruntled.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Donghyuk grumbles, pushing up the baggy sleeves of his sweater. The soft hair on his arms stands on end, goosebumps riddling the skin.

“Do you wanna go out tonight?” Hanbin asks.

Donghyuk’s eyes flicker between Hanbin’s enthusiastic smile and the textbooks on his study carrel. He settles for a question instead of an answer, “How did you know I was here?”

“Asked Junhwe,” That traitor. “Anyway, do you want to?”

With a sigh, Donghyuk accepts the invitation. Something about Hanbin makes it hard for him to say no. He packs up his things, letting Hanbin know he has to stop by their dorm to drop his bag off and put on something warmer. Hanbin shrugs off his jacket instead, placing it around Donghyuk’s shoulders after taking his backpack from him. “I get a little warm after dance,” He insists. “Besides, we have to make the last train.”

The subway runs late into the night so Donghyuk doesn’t know what the rush is for till they get to the station, the queue incredibly long for this time of day. They barely make in time but manage to squeeze through the passengers to find an empty spot to stand. Donghyuk doesn’t realise Hanbin’s got a hand in his until they’ve stopped and then it’s too late, because they’re packed so close to each other like sardines they can barely move let alone awkwardly disentangle their hands.

Donghyuk picks up pieces of conversation, gathering that most people are going to the annual Lotte World Christmas Festival. The final stop comes with a sigh of relief from all the passengers and they slowly begin to filter out of the train doors. Donghyuk hops onto the platform, turning around to search for Hanbin who is close behind.

“I haven’t been to the festival in forever,” Hanbin says, as they walk with the crowd-flow. “And you haven’t been, so I thought it’d be nice to get out of campus for a night.”

Donghyuk is surprised Hanbin even remembers. He’s only mentioned it off-hand ages ago. Then again, Donghyuk knows Hanbin has an affinity for details and the memory of an elephant when he’s got cause for it.

They pay for their tickets at the entrance, or, Hanbin pays for the two of them, hushing Donghyuk when he tries to stop him and reminding him that this was his spontaneous idea in the first place. Donghyuk can give him that.

The amusement park is buzzing with people—mostly tourists—the festive atmosphere taking Donghyuk’s breath away. The entire place is lit up with rainbow lights, and carols play from the speakers. A snow machine spurts out twirling snowflakes into the air, some of it falling into Donghyuk’s hair till he shakes it off. Behind him, Hanbin gently rests his hands on Donghyuk’s waist so they don’t lose each other in the crowd.

They walk around the park, sharing a stick of sickly-sweet fairy floss. Hanbin takes a snap of Donghyuk with one of the elves and they go on a ride together, one of those insufferably romantic gondolas that makes the entire situation seem even more like a date. To anyone looking in on them from the outside, they would think they were dating. It’s like every action, every interaction between Hanbin and Donghyuk is suspect, the world flipped upside down and inside out, because now they’re _dating_ even if they’re not really. Hanbin leaning over Donghyuk’s body to point out something in the distance feels as intimate as if Hanbin were to place a kiss behind Donghyuk’s ear, where he’s especially sensitive. And yeah, maybe he is overthinking it, but this sure feels like a date.

A date Donghyuk never wants to end, but there’s only 24 hours in a day and he can’t spend it all with Hanbin. He’ll be checking them all off one by one till he reaches the 25th of December.

 

-

 

Donghyuk gets home late after work, ready to pass out on his bed straight away. Hanbin’s not usually in at this time, cooped up in the campus studio rather than vegging out at home like a normal, lazy person, so it surprises Donghyuk when he stumbles in and finds Hanbin at his desk, writing in a notebook.

“What are you doing here?” Donghyuk asks, tossing his backpack onto the floor at the end of his bed.

Hanbin doesn’t look up, but his pen stills. “Am I not allowed to be in my own dorm room?” He answers tersely.

Shoes, pants and shirt are tossed onto the ground as Donghyuk changes into a sweatshirt and basketball shorts. He’s afraid he’s pissed off Hanbin with his quick mouth until Hanbin swivels his chair around and asks Donghyuk to get something to eat with him. Donghyuk sighs, eyeing his warm bed forlornly as he slips on some sneakers and follows Hanbin out.

Hanbin hooks a pinkie with Donghyuk’s, guiding him along the footpath. “So, when do you want me to meet your parents?”

Donghyuk almost corrects him, but thinks better of it. The air is already sullen enough without talk of death. “We’re having another family gathering on Christmas. But you probably want to see your family.”

Hanbin shakes his head. “I think I can get away for a day. Let me know then.”

The light of the convenience store is harsh against the dark night backdrop. They walk between the aisles in silence, Donghyuk wandering off to grab the two of them coffee.

This isn’t anything new, but something has shifted in their relationship. To jump straight from acquainted roommates to boyfriends is quite a leap, and it’s making Donghyuk feel on edge. The two of them sit at one of the tables outside, quietly chatting about their day. Hanbin talks about the big presentation he had been preparing for the past month, how he’d been so jittery and nervous before it. Donghyuk listens on, _mmm_ ’ing when appropriate.

“Thanks for coming out with me,” Hanbin says, “I know you wanted to sleep.”

“It’s no big deal,” Donghyuk replies, lifting his shoulders in a lazy shrug. “Isn’t that what boyfriends are for?”

That makes Hanbin laugh. Even if none of it’s real, Donghyuk‘s glad he can be of some comfort and companionship.

 

-

 

The couple of days before Christmas break, classes begin to thin down rapidly as students make preparations for their trips back home. The professor for Medieval Europe lets them off early after the class becomes too restless to pay attention. Donghyuk appreciates the extra time for all the gift shopping he has to do.

Three hours of indecisiveness, a drained bank account and weary feet later, Donghyuk catches the bus back to the dorm, ready for a cup of tea and a drama marathon. He struggles to open the door to his room with no free hands and flinches when he hears the tell-tale arguing of Bobby and Hanbin inside. They’re sitting on the floor in front of Hanbin’s beat-up laptop, playing some video game, and being incredibly, annoyingly loud.

“Ooh, your boyfriend’s home,” Bobby says, wriggling his eyebrows at Hanbin.

“He’s not my—” Hanbin cuts himself off. “Oh, yeah. Hi Donghyuk.”

Donghyuk doesn’t respond, rubbing his temples as he leaves the shopping bags on the floor. Hanbin drops his controller and gets up, walking over to where Donghyuk’s sitting on his bed, massaging his sore feet. Bobby eventually loses interest, going back to the game when Hanbin sits beside Donghyuk.

“Lie down,” Hanbin requests, and Donghyuk does so, unthinkingly. He yelps in surprise when Hanbin takes a socked foot into his hand and digs his thumbs in soothingly. “You alright?”

Donghyuk nods, closing his eyes. “Yeah. That feels good.”

Hanbin leans forward, lowering his voice. “Did you tell Bobby about us?”

“Us?” Donghyuk breathes, mind too hazy with exhaustion to fully comprehend Hanbin’s words, “He thinks we’re real, or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Hanbin echoes, thumb rubbing circles into Donghyuk’s ankle.

Their exchange is interrupted when Bobby rolls across the floor towards Donghyuk’s bed, resting his chin on the edge. “Are you two coming to the party tomorrow night?”

Hanbin shares a glance with Donghyuk. “I wasn’t planning to, but I don’t know about Donghyuk.”

“I’ll go if you go,” Donghyuk says, and Hanbin gives him a withering look in response.

“You don’t have a choice anyway.” Bobby glares at the two of them, looking more like a puppy than the intimidating look he’s going for. “Make sure you wear your ugliest Christmas sweater.”

 

-

 

Somehow Hanbin procures two very, very ugly Christmas sweaters for the two of them the next day. Donghyuk would rather die than be seen in one of them, but he has to admit, it looks rather adorable on Hanbin. Before they leave, Donghyuk reaches up to fix the bow headband Hanbin’s wearing, and pats his cheek, turning away before he can notice Hanbin blush.

They’ve grown so used to acting like a couple in public that it feels like second nature to take Hanbin’s hand in his as they walk to the party at some older year’s apartment. For once, Donghyuk is the one to initiate it—Hanbin seems to like holding hands—and when he does, Hanbin gives him a heart-tugging smile. They’re not a couple. They’re just holding hands to keep them warm because it’s cold outside.

“Did I tell you I managed to get a couple days off during the holidays?” Hanbin says, breaking the silence. “So I was wondering if it’d be alright to stay with you.”

Donghyuk cocks his hip against Hanbin’s. “Of course. We haven’t got a spare room, but I’m sure you’ll be able to bunk in mine.”

A trap remix of a Christmas song blasts out of the apartment as they enter. Donghyuk loses Hanbin immediately when he spots Bobby and Jinhwan taking love shots in the living room. He ends up wandering off in search of Junhwe, who supplies him with just enough alcohol to induce a pleasant buzz. Fairy lights have been strung along the walls and bunches of mistletoe hang at every doorway, people making out salaciously beneath them. Donghyuk avoids them, walking around and socialising. For the most part, he loses Hanbin and makes amicable conversation with Yunhyeong until a roar comes from the living room, the voice resembling Bobby’s.

“Come, we’re doing seven minutes in heaven,” Yunhyeong pulls Donghyuk along, and they settle themselves into a spare spot on a sofa. “I put your name into the bowl.”

Donghyuk pinches Yunhyeong’s thigh. “What’d you do that for?” He hisses. He doesn’t want to play this dumb high school game, no matter how tipsy he is to succumb to it.

Yunhyeong ignores Donghyuk’s remark, focusing his attention on Bobby who holds the glass bowl in his hand, shoving the other one in to take out two folded pieces of paper. Everyone holds their breath as Bobby reads out the first name, “Hwasa.” He squints, and everyone turns to look at the girl sitting on one of the armchairs. She gives them all a sultry grin, as Bobby reads out the second name. “And the lucky person is. . . Hweein!”

The two seem to be friends, Hweein blushing as Hwasa guides her to the closet for a dragged-out seven minutes. There are a lot of names in the bowl. Donghyuk hopes everyone gives up on the game before his is pulled out. Next is Baekhyun and Jongdae, two older years who look ready to jump each other before they even reach the door.

And after that is, “Hanbin!” Upon hearing his name, Hanbin buries his face in his hands. Donghyuk crosses his fingers that he gets someone good, if anyone. The entire ordeal is just majorly embarrassing anyway, especially with the Worst Friend Ever, Bobby laughing at you.

Jinhwan gives an impromptu drum roll on the side of the glass bowl as Bobby pulls out the second name. He reads it and smiles creepily. “Aren’t you a lucky one, Donghyuk?” He calls out, spotting Donghyuk easily in the crowd. Everyone turns to stare at him. All he can do is look at Hanbin, who seems somewhat relieved.

The walk to the closet is slow and daunting. Donghyuk falls in step with Hanbin, letting him go inside first before shutting the door behind them. Seven minutes isn’t a long time. It’s not even ten minutes, which is practically forever.

They’re immediately swathed in darkness and Donghyuk has to reach around to get his bearings. He ends up smacking Hanbin in the chin, to which Hanbin groans, and apologises, stepping back against the wall. It seems to close in on them, the room becoming more and more claustrophobic as time ticks on.

“So, are we meant to kiss or something?” Hanbin asks.

“If you want to. I mean, they’re not gonna know.” Donghyuk feels like there’s a vice around his heart.

“Well. I guess we should just practice. You know, if they ever ask us to kiss.”

“They?” Donghyuk asks, raising an eyebrow although Hanbin can’t see.

“Just, anyone,” Hanbin stutters, seemingly flustered. “I don’t know.”

Donghyuk steps forward, onto one of Hanbin’s feet. He apologises again, feeling around for Hanbin’s face. Hanbin bunches a hand into Donghyuk’s sweater, pulling him forward the slightest. The light through the crack in the door allows Donghyuk to make out the contours of Hanbin’s face, to gauge how much he has to lean up to seal his lips against Hanbin’s.

It feels like forever till Hanbin reaches forward to kiss Donghyuk, inciting a sharp inhale from him. Donghyuk cups Hanbin’s cheek, the warm softness of Hanbin’s mouth easing him into the kiss. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been standing there making out, the tip of Hanbin’s nose brushing against Donghyuk’s cheek as he licks into his mouth, the knit sweater becoming a very viable regret, but he’s almost disappointed when a sharp knock on the door alerts them that their time is up.

They exit to cheers from the others. Donghyuk’s pretty sure the tips of his ears are red, at the very least. When he chances a glance at Hanbin, and his mess of hair, he knows he won’t be able to convince _anyone_ they weren’t doing what everyone thought they were doing. Donghyuk can’t believe they even played into their hands and did what they were meant to but he can’t bring himself to regret a moment of it because Hanbin’s probably the best kisser he’s encountered in ages. Bobby had to have been joking when he said Hanbin’d only made out with his arm. Unless he just did it a lot and got good at it. Maybe. . .

The rest of the night is a drunken blur. Donghyuk doesn’t even remember how he got home but there’s one unmistakeable image of Hanbin leaning over to press his mouth against Donghyuk’s forehead before he blacks out completely.

 

-

 

It’s sad it had to come to this. Donghyuk paid Hanbin the petrol money they need to get to Donghyuk’s hometown in his car, for the trip to the Christmas dinner everything has come down to. It feels bittersweet to have the façade end so soon. It’s not like they’re officially breaking up though, Donghyuk reminds himself. They weren’t even together in the first place. They’ll still be roommates, friends. Nothing's going to change.

“Ready?” Hanbin asks, leaning against the passenger door. He opens it for Donghyuk, before getting into his seat.

And besides, it’s not over yet. They still have to convince Donghyuk’s family they’re the sweet, very much in-love couple they say they are.

Hanbin puts on the Jay Z and Kanye West record, turning down the volume so it’s just subdued background noise. Clumps of snow litter the sides of the highway, a white blur as they whizz past in Hanbin’s BMW, a belated birthday gift from his estranged father. They sit in comfortable silence, Donghyuk staring out the window sleepily and Hanbin taking a left turn to cut through the countryside, a shortcut the GPS informs him of.

“Quiz me again,” Hanbin asks Donghyuk, shaking him out of his thoughtful reverie. “Just so I can be sure I’ve got everyone down.

Last night Donghyuk had given Hanbin a rundown on his family members, including all the extended ones. If his quick answers are anything to go by, he’s picked them up admirably fast.

They end up playing games— “I spy, something starting with H.” Donghyuk says, to which Hanbin quips, “Hanbin!”; Donghyuk just shakes his head in disappointment—to kill the time. Donghyuk knows his shit in history, being a major and all, but he’s blown away by how much Hanbin gets right when he quizzes him.

“You sure you haven’t been reading my textbooks in your spare time?”

Hanbin shrugs, “Just some light reading.”

“You nerd,” Donghyuk laughs. “Wait, take the next turn.”

Hanbin follows Donghyuk’s instructions, eventually finding his way to Donghyuk’s apartment block. They park, taking out their bags from the boot, and make their way to the elevators. Hanbin taps a foot against the floor and pats his chest with his palm, a nervous tick.

The elevator doors open to Donghyuk’s level, noise pouring out of the open door of his apartment. They take off their shoes and enter, Donghyuk already bombarded with hugs from family members. Hanbin stays close behind him, smiling awkwardly at everyone. His mother is nowhere to be seen, until she pops her head round the side of the kitchen, flour up to her elbows. She calls Donghyuk over, and he steps over toys and small children, hand squeezed tight in Hanbin’s.

“Merry Christmas,” Donghyuk says, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “This is Hanbin.”

Her eyes twinkle, as she reaches up to give Hanbin a kiss too. “Ah, nice to meet you. You’re even more handsome than I expected.” She winks at Donghyuk and he internally groans.

“Thank you,” Hanbin replies with a grin, visibly relaxing. “It’s nice to finally meet Donghyuk’s mother. And his father?” He scans the apartment. Donghyuk accepts the stern glare his mother gives him. He’d forgotten to tell Hanbin.

“Later. We’ll see him later,” Donghyuk finally says, tugging Hanbin out of the kitchen, to the direction of his old room so they can leave their bags and eat.

 

-

 

After managing to escape the interrogation from Donghyuk’s family, which Donghyuk has to admit Hanbin took in stride, they walk outside for a breather. Donghyuk leads Hanbin in the direction of the cemetery, although he has no idea. It might be weird, Donghyuk thinks, but it’s too late now. He always visits his father at dusk on Christmas Eve anyway, a tradition he’s kept up for years, and he’s not going to stop for a boyfriend.

Hanbin eventually catches on when Donghyuk buys a bunch of flowers and walks into the building. “I’m sorry,” He mutters with some conviction, grabbing Donghyuk’s wrist before he can enter the elevator. “I didn’t know. I _should’ve_ known.”

“It’s alright. I didn’t tell you.”

Hanbin’s eyes aren’t sympathetic as much as empathetic. He’d know, even if it wasn’t the same, what it’s like to not have your dad around.

“You can stay down here, if you’d like. I know it’s all a bit morbid,” Donghyuk says, tone casual, light-hearted.

“Of course not,” Hanbin insists, taking the lead and pulling Donghyuk into the elevator. “If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”

Donghyuk does try his hardest not to cry in front of Hanbin. Maybe he’s just been a strung-up ball of turbulent emotions lately, but upon seeing the tiny memorial set up for his father, he bursts into tears. Hanbin coaxes the flowers out of his hand, leaving it on top of the wilting pile and lets Donghyuk cry into his neck, despite how wet and gross it is.

They don’t stay for very long, Hanbin leaving the room to give Donghyuk some privacy and immediately taking his hand when he exits, brushing the remnants of tears from his cheeks. The walk home is silent and sombre, but Donghyuk is thankful for Hanbin being there, so he didn’t have to do it alone.

 

-

 

Donghyuk sets up a small mattress on the floor next to his bed as Hanbin showers. He peels back the covers on his own bed, pulling the quilt up to his chin while he waits for Hanbin to return. Hanbin enters the room, fresh and clean. His hair’s damp and a towel is slung around his neck, a sight Donghyuk is familiar with.

Once Hanbin gets into his makeshift bed, Donghyuk reaches over to turn off the lamp with a yawn. “Your mother showed me your baby albums,” Hanbin says in the dark.

Donghyuk coughs. “Did she now?”

“You were cute. Kinda ugly, but cute,” Hanbin concludes, “And you didn’t tell me you wore glasses as a pre-teen. They’re nice on you.”

Donghyuk takes note of that, deciding to wear his pair more often now.

“Your family’s nice, really welcoming,” continues Hanbin.

“Not overwhelming?”

“Nah. I’m used to small gatherings. It was a nice change.”

They chat for what seems like hours until the only sound that fills the air is their soft, tired breathing.

 

-

 

They never end up breaking up. Then again, they don’t end up officially starting to date either, until a few weeks after Christmas. Everything stays the same, static and unchanging. Bobby still teases them to no end and Junhwe takes every opportunity to pull a face when Donghyuk slips up and kisses Hanbin’s cheek, or when Hanbin plays with Donghyuk’s fingers at the cafeteria table. Hanbin still uses up the hot water when Donghyuk keeps him up too late with irrelevant chatter or wears his clothes in his haste to get to class.

Sometime after New Year, Donghyuk comes home to find a square object in the middle of his neat bed. He picks it up, turning it over in his hands. It’s a CD, labelled _Just Another Boy_. Confused, Donghyuk pulls up his laptop and puts the CD in, clicking play on the first track.

The bass drops, and Hanbin’s voice cuts in, rapping about how lonely he is. He’s even got the others on the track. Donghyuk groans, resting his head on his desk. If this is Hanbin’s idea of a confession, he’s truly gonna kill him.

When the song finishes, Donghyuk pushes back his chair, heading to the door to go find Hanbin. As soon as he opens the door, Hanbin stumbles backwards onto the floor, having been resting against it, waiting for Donghyuk.

“Really?” Donghyuk asks, staring down at Hanbin.

Hanbin rolls onto his side, propping his elbow up. “The whole fake dating thing gave me a lot of inspiration. I’ve got about fifty songs, I guess we can break up now.”

“You’re so dumb, get up here.” Hanbin stands up and Donghyuk closes the door behind him, stepping forward so Hanbin falls back against it. Hanbin smiles against Donghyuk’s lips when he leans over to kiss him, entangling their fingers together. “We can’t break up if we never start dating, right?” Donghyuk leans back to say.

Hanbin chases Donghyuk’s lips with his own, giving up to pepper kisses along Donghyuk’s jaw. “Exactly. Good think we aren’t _really_ boyfriends then,” He says with a laugh, hand sneaking beneath Donghyuk’s t-shirt.


End file.
